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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Loans for the poor?

I'm starting school again very soon and I'm excited as hell. It's about time I finally got the money for it. The first two times were like a tease. I'd have enough money for one semester. That's what I did at Penn State and The Art Institute. But this time I should have enough money for the Art Institute again. 

What bothers me is... what if I don't? There's alway that what if. I really do not know what I will do with myself if I do not have enough money the third time around. I see the people around me going to school and passing me by. This is not a fun thing to watch. It only makes me feel useless and stupid.

I was also thinking about the people I know who failed out of school or go kicked out of school and are not  going to school anymore. Really? How could you be so careless. Wasting your parents hard earned money or wasting a loan. It makes me sick to see kids fail out or get kicked out of school. I could be using that money to make myself better. It seems like the kids who care and want to do something with their lives can never get the money and then the kids who are using college as a way to get out of their parents houses, party more, or just fiddle with life get all the money they want/need. It's ridiculous. And there needs to be a change in this somewhere. Where's our modern day Robin Hood? I sure wish he was real/here cause a lot of people need help.

I don't know. This just hurts me a lot. I want to go to school and make something of myself. I don't want to have to live the way I'm living anymore. Don't get me wrong, my dad is tryin his hardest to make my sister and I happy. But in the end, there is never enough food, old clothes, lonely weekends and money fights. I want to be able to not have to worry about wether or not there will be food to eat. I want my kids to grow up with everything I never had...
But will that make them like those kids I mentioned above? I sure hope not. I want my children to be humble even if they have money. 

I hope I have enough money this year. I really do.